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Told as a dual narrative, a writing style Caswell has made his own, between thirteen-and-a-half-year-old Jules Macaffrey and Suzi Q. After Jules' mother wins a cruise for four on the POLYNESIAN QUEEN, he discovers it's really a floating 'geriatric ward' with very little choice of companionship other than his sixteen-year-old, dancing-obsessed cousin Adrian, the very beautiful Jenna (also sixteen), wheelchair-bound Suzi Q and bully Barry Barnes.
Falling madly in love with the unobtainable Jenna, Jules develops a strong friendship with Suzi as she steers Jules through his unrequited love - with unexpected results.